12 November 2009

Lies / Choices / Marriage

Instead of viewing marriage as the most stable, most effective structure for raising children, it is now simply one choice on a menu of family structure options. If that fact had no ill consequences for the children or adults involved, it would be easy to gloss over it. But it does have consequences. And very often they aren't pretty.

That's why this article from a retired judge caught my attention. I especially appreciated this segment:

"Before I retired from the bench a few months ago, it was my job as a judge to sort through all the issues rising, in part, from the growing lack of reverence many Americans have for marriage. In court, I often saw humanity's worst behavior. I also dealt with teenage mothers, absentee fathers and parents who have never been married, often by choice.

I saw parents who didn't seem able or willing to connect their children's problems with their own failure to provide their children with the necessary road map to self-sufficiency and productivity. And these families didn't just show up in my courtroom. They exist everywhere."

As broken, fallen humans we all fall for this same line: that our choices are only our choices, that we can evade or manage the consequences, and that our choices don't really affect other people that much. The reality is much harsher.