No thanks, Josh Harris.
Christianity Today's recent article, The Case for Early Marriage, is a provocative and frank assessment of marriage, young people and the church.
Of note,
- The Gender Imbalance in the Church - if church leaders are not concerned about this shift now, they will be in a few years. I don't understand why church leaders are oblivious to (or ignoring?) the staggering problem the church will have if none of its young people stick around to marry one another and are trained to take leadership positions in the church. The Boomer generation has been in leadership for so long that it may seem, to some, unnecessary to seek out and mentor the current young leadership waiting in the wings. But if leaders delay any longer, there won't be many young people left who want to be mentored, much less leadership caliber men who are anxious to step in to the Boomer's legacy of successes and problems.
- The Idiocy of Josh Harris-ism - by overfocusing on the pre-marriage portion of the equation, we have created an awkward and not-easily-navigable transition between "you must ask my dad to court me" and "financially independent, well-educated, husband and wife." The legacy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" mentality has tainted the entire Christian dating/marriage/family structure. And it has raised expectations without providing guidance or training on how men or women are to meet one another's and their parents' expectations.
Food for thought...and another lesson in ideas have consequences. And not always the consequences anyone expects.
posted by Amy M at 10:19 AM
1 Comments:
Interesting article... I'm not so sure that the delay of marriage equals the erosion of christian marriages though. While I agree that those that have found "the one" should not dance around the commitment issue. They need to seek wise counsel and either proceed to marriage or separate, no need to linger while burning with passion.
I would also like to add that "chemistry"/attraction/feelings (whatever you want to call the sparks between a man and woman that like each other) are not sole indicators that a relationship should head to marriage. A solid marriage foundation is built on far more than sparks. I believe that Josh Harris was attempting to make this point in his first book. Perhaps his point was lost in the confines of the courting rules, but nonetheless a little scrutiny can be good when forming a dating relationship. In my opinion teenagers don't need to be exclusively dating and putting themselves into highly emotional relationships where the next natural step is for the relationship to become physical. As an individual approaches an age where marriage is a possibility, involve family, friends, mentors, and other Christian authorities to enter your relationship and mold it and guide it. Then before the fire gets too hot, by all means marry!
Encourage marriage, yes. But also encourage getting counsel in the choosing process, the western method of choosing a marriage partner holds the individual as the supreme chooser, maybe there is more to involving others in the process than we know. Lastly, "do not arouse or awaken love until it pleases (whatever your age is)."
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